He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
