Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
