I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
