i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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