The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
