so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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