WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
