i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
