I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
