im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
