Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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