Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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