i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
