You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just cut my nipple shaving
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
