I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
