Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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