I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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