Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
why is half of my head shaved?
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