his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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