Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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