Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
