I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
