the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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