I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
