Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
