I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
