I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
