you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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