the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
