you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
