I accidentally had phone sex last night
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
