i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
