Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
