Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
