Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize