she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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