My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize