Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
