I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
