i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize