i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
