So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
