I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
