I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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