he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
