just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
