I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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