ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
