don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
