hotel room ftw
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
