i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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