just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
