Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
vagina is talking i cant
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
