Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
