He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
