I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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