do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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