Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
