In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
