My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
