Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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