areolas are like halos for boobs.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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