Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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