Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
