Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
