that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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